A User's Guide To Smoking Pot With Barack Obama

No really.  Among the highlights:

When you were with Barry and his pals, if you exhaled precious pakalolo (Hawaiian slang for marijuana, meaning "numbing tobacco") instead of absorbing it fully into your lungs, you were assessed a penalty and your turn was skipped the next time the joint came around.  "Wasting good bud smoke was not tolerated."

Of course, Obama now punishes people (and much more severely, I might add) for inhaling, which brings us back to . . .